THE ROMANTIC MARRIAGE (PART TWO)

I believe you were helped by the first part of this teaching.
Don’t let me go further by telling you of one where one person in the marriage will always forget to flush the toilet after use and the other person is beginning to see it as if it is an intentional act to subject him or her to such disgusting sight and assignment. You will poop and I will be the one to help you to flush because you always claim that you forgot. I’m giving you these examples so that you can be aware that LITTLE FOXES are eating up marriages and one or both partner aren’t ready to kill such LITTLE FOXES. Today, marriages are going through unnecessary crisis and one partner seems to be “possessed”. As if “they send the person come deny the person marital joy”. Simple things you should stop doing you won’t stop. Simple things you should start doing you won’t do.

When INTIMACY is lacking in your marriage than your marriage is at risk of ADULTERY. Sane person doesn’t just wake up one morning and then decide “today I’m going to have an affair”. It doesn’t happen that way.Something missing in their marriage usually lure or “push” them into such. I’m in no way advocating or justifying ADULTERY rather I’m saying CLOSE THE BACK DOOR OF YOUR MARRIAGE WHICH ADULTERY WANTS TO USE TO ENTER INTO YOUR MARRIAGE. The peace you are not ready to give your spouse somebody somewhere is waiting to give them. BEWARE! Intimacy is like a living organism; it can fall sick and even die. This message is for both single and married so be intentional by going through this messages. When it falls sick and you treat it back to health then that is good. But you see it sick and dying and you are not willing to bring it back to health?

Disgusting! Death of intimacy can be caused by various factors. Some are:

1. Busy Schedule
Our generation is getting so busy that families are dying yet we care less. What is keeping us busy seems to be more important to us than our family. You see, busyness can destroy the ministry of marriage. When the husband and wife become too busy to spend quality time together in talking, playing and praying, intimacy will be far from their marriage. Various activities in office, job, career, ministry or business trips can cause this. No matter how busy you are, create time for your marriage.If you are so busy throughout the week then why not make the whole of SUNDAY about your family. It is not just your spouse that need your attention and affection your children too do.If your family is your treasure then your heart must be with them and your brain will work out opportunities for your body to be with them.

2. Lack of a Partner-Focused Life
Any vocation or business that lacks focus in life will fail and die a natural death. Similarly, when couples fail to live a partner-focused life, intimacy will become an alien in their marriage. Your colleagues at work see you more than your family sees you.You are always in touch with your online fans, partners and followers but you are hardly in touch with your children. You have been attending every official functions of your company but you have never for once attended your children’s PARENT TEACHERS ASSOCIATION. The inability of some couple to make their spouse a priority has kept them at arm’s length. To most men, their work comes first while to most women, their children come first. Though your career, children or your ministry are very important, none of them is as important as your marriage. Make your spouse your number one priority. Let your motto be: God first, family second, others third. Your career, business or ministry success is a total waste if you had to sacrifice your family to achieve them.
3. Unforgiveness
Another major poison that kills intimacy and romance in marriage is the lack of a forgiving spirit. Couples who refuse to forgive each other can never be intimate. Unforgiveness brings tension into marriage and tears love birds apart. In marriage, there are bound to be misunderstandings. Even the teeth and tongue ‘quarrel’ yet they are still together. Differences will lead to misunderstanding but forgiveness must always be wielded to stop it from degenerating into a conflict. DON’T ALLOW MISUNDERSTANDING TO DEGENERATE INTO CONFLICT. Unfortunately, many couples are living like cat and mouse. Have a forgiving spirit; build intimacy in that marriage. If you want to experience a romantic marriage then each of you must strive to reduce the frequency of misunderstanding. Because the more you experience quarrels the more you will be drifting apart. You actually love her but she is presenting herself as a bone in the neck. Such inflict emotional pains within you and you are struggling to love her the way you should. Please forgive and move on.

4. Television & Social Media
Many couples kill intimacy that makes romance possible through the time they devote to watching television, pressing their phones. When married couples should be cuddling under the blanket at night one of them is still working on the laptop late into the night, watching a movie or chatting online. He or she is more committed to laptop, phone or TV. The way you have been holding on to your phone if you hold on to your wife same way by now she ought to be pregnant. You have always been doing her “rush-rush” you don’t have time to hold her closely until she is the one saying she is tired. The only time some couples spend together at home is left for watching television, and social media things, etc. No wonder many are oblivious of their spouse’s plans. Television and social media things are supposed to be for leisure; it is not supposed to put pressure on your marriage. Don’t spend all your time watching programs being busy online. Create time for your spouse.

5.  InfidelityYour marriage is at great risk of falling apart when there is someone of the opposite sex who is more significant to you than your spouse. Stop giving opposite sex compliments that should have been reserved for your spouse only. It may look insignificant but it is morally wrong. Infidelity brings lack of trust and suspicion which murder intimacy and romance in marriage. Once your heart is treasuring someone else apart from your spouse you will begin to avoid been intimate with your spouse. You will stop enjoying your husband or wife sexually. What he or she use to do that arouse you effortlessly will not be working well again. Sex in marriage is more about the affection than the sexual skill. Once the affection is there then the erotic river will flow effortlessly. As a wife, you may get advances from other men but you must not yield to them. Even as a husband, you may be enticed by other ladies in your office, neighbourhood, city, etc but you must not fall for them. Stick to your spouse; be contented with him or her.

Your marriage is at great risk of falling apart when there is someone of the opposite sex who is more significant to you than your spouse. Stop giving opposite sex compliments that should have been reserved for your spouse only. It may look insignificant but it is morally wrong. Infidelity brings lack of trust and suspicion which murder intimacy and romance in marriage. Once your heart is treasuring someone else apart from your spouse you will begin to avoid been intimate with your spouse. You will stop enjoying your husband or wife sexually. What he or she use to do that arouse you effortlessly will not be working well again. Sex in marriage is more about the affection than the sexual skill. Once the affection is there then the erotic river will flow effortlessly. As a wife, you may get advances from other men but you must not yield to them. Even as a husband, you may be enticed by other ladies in your office, neighbourhood, city, etc but you must not fall for them. Stick to your spouse; be contented with him or her.

Dear married couples, can I advice you to go on a weekend vacation? Just Friday night to Sunday evening. If you are in Lagos just travel to Abuja. Lodge in an hotel and rekindle the fire of love in your marriage. This is not a business trip ooo. Just go out to enjoy your bodies to the fullest. Oga please order for enough yoghurt so that you can have enough yoghurt to give her. Let me stop here before I corrupt the imaginations of the singles and this group.

BY JESUTOFUNMI VICTORIA OMOJOLA

THE ROMANTIC MARRIAGE (part 1)

Each time I sit with couples going through some kind of marital challenge I tend to conclude that “are you normal?” It’s not in all cases but in most cases. As in, the cause of their marital challenge has been identified and solution provide but the “problem couple” will insist on not doing it.

The solution is not an uphill task so I wonder why the insistence on not doing it.A couple are having issue on the use of TOOTHPASTE. When the wife uses the toothpaste she drops it somewhere that she can’t remember when her husband wants to use it. Her husband can’t put up with the fact that a grown up woman will use toothpaste and won’t remember where she puts it within 10 minutes.

As she multitask every morning while trying to get herself and the children ready for school, she goes into the bathroom to use the toothpaste. She takes the toothpaste, walks out of the bathroom putting the paste on her brush as she walks to the kitchen. As she transit from the bathroom to the kitchen, putting the paste on her brush she drops the paste anywhere without been conscious of where she is dropping or dumping the toothpaste.

Then “oga” is ready to use the paste and the paste is nowhere to be found. Her husband who is rushing to get ready for work have to begin to search the “whole” house for toothpaste that has gone missing.If you want to see the anger level of a man then see how he will react when he is hungry and you are delaying his meal. Or see how he will react when he is late for a meeting and you are still standing in his way from going out. He is thinking “why can’t you use the toothpaste in the bathroom and drop it right there in the bathroom? Must you take it out before you use it?” So this “morning toothpaste” going missing in their house becomes almost a daily event. So she thinks she is not really doing something bad.

She reacts as if the “habit” of taking the toothpaste out, and brushing her teeth while she do other stuffs every morning is no big deal. So why should he be reacting as if she has committed a crime. Is it not just toothpaste?The intimacy and romance in marriage usually begin to leak out when your spouse is complaining about what you are doing that he or she doesn’t like but instead for you to respond with “repentance” you respond with “what is bad in what I am doing?” You respond to your wife’s complain with an attitude of “you don’t have a right to complain about what I am doing”.

Every good marriage starts with love, acceptance and intimacy but when the marriage should move from “good marriage” to “great marriage” the marriage begin to deteriorate.Why?The things they use to do and say at the early stages of their marriage is what they have stopped doing or saying.

AUTOMATICALLY the love, acceptance and romance of such marriage will begin to decrease. Your marriage has to be fed. It has to be fed regularly and accurately. The uniqueness of your marriage will determine what your marriage need to feed on for it to be sustained.

THE ROMANTIC MARRIAGE IS SIMPLY THAT MARRIAGE THE HUSBAND AND WIFE ENJOY EACH OTHERS COMPANY AND ALWAYS LOOKING FORWARD TO TIME SPENT TOGETHER BECAUSE OF THEIR INTIMATE MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP.

What makes this possible for them is their MARITAL INTIMACY.Take out the foxes, the LITTLE FOXES that spoil the vines, for our vine have TENDER GRAPES. If you are following this platform very well.you will remember we have discussed little foxes some months back now.Song of Solomon 2:15

To a man that sees it as no big deal to brush before going out every morning won’t have any issue with a wife that easily forgets where she dropped the toothpaste. It isn’t big things that crushes marriages but small things allowed to GROW beyond normal.

OMOJOLA JESUTOFUNMI VICTORIA

(Jevit)

IN THE PLACE OF PRAYER

When you discover that the whole of your day is always filled up with complain and displeasure then you need to consider your prayer life

In the place of prayer you receive direction, instruction and clarification; knowing what to do par-time and also to know what is coming ahead so that when they appear you are not really surprised about it.

OMOJOLA JESUTOFUNMI VICTORIA